Updated: May 29, 2020
A major component of my transformation toward better healing practice, is reprogramming myself to truly believe that I deserve and am capable of experiencing comfort, safety and care.
Through the years of facing challenges and working on finding solutions mostly on my own, I have noticed that I never really gave myself permission to have the better "high quality" options.
The most comfortable clothes, the most pure and natural ingredients, the most conducive materials and resources for keeping my body relaxed, happy and trusting.
Since I have embarked on a newer journey of up-leveling my care for myself, my healing, because I just do not want to struggle so much anymore, I must find the ways to feel better and stronger and more cared for. Since this turn, a new part of my spirit and resilience has stepped up to take over. Just the other day, I imagined "Oh , this is what it feels like when I was helping to take care of my grandparents when they were so very sick" Did I make compromises for them? Cut corners on their comfort? No! I did whatever I could to be the best and most gentle loving presence for them in their time before transition. It feels as if she is here with me now. That warrior girl who loves so much being the most nurturing caring providing giver for others she loves when they were in need... now she is taking care of me.
Last night, I received some donations and I added them up, and I am so grateful to those who contributed. I researched online for the best option for me to have regarding lounging. Which is mostly all I can do. Stretching and resting in bed, laying on the couch to write these posts, relaxing in the recliner to be creative. I found that sheepskin is the most healing material for me to have around my body. I always thought things like this were too luxurious. I am humble and modest and stay minimal, that's what I have in my mind most of the time.
But warrior queen caretaker girl is driving now and she says we are putting these throws in every room. We used the donations and ordered some cozy slippers for my feet, a seat cover for my wheelchair and a throw for the couch. My mother helped me find a great site and so lovingly contributed toward the throw for my bed. She found a reputable authentic fair practice business out of New Zealand.
I discovered that it is the most beneficial material for me to be relaxing on for many reasons and so I'm going for it.
I will be adding it to my bed so that while I sleep I will rest even more assured that my body is cozy and safe. Some months ago, I was overwhelmed with a gift from friends John and Lesley Holt. They gifted me with an incredibly soft organic wool and cotton mattress pad which has been an absolute savior. The Holt family have truly been incredibly supportive, I am working up to writing about my extreme gratitude for what they have done for me. They among others have given me the love and encouragement and support that have felt nourished by, strengthened by... and little by little truly believing that I do deserve to be comfortable. To be loved. To be taken care of. I'm getting there. Even writing these posts feels a little indulgent :/ but it is truly time to shift.
A softer environment. A sweeter more healing nest. A shift in mindset from "luxurious" to "loving"
I am already feeling more comfortable just imagining it as it all gets set up.
I am going to allow this transformation... no longer sheepishly tip toeing though, but owning it. I am finding out what is best and I am allowing myself to have a better life experience bit by bit.