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  • Heather Mattoon

LOVINGLY STARING AT TREES


I need to be painting today but my arm is too sore. Shoulder elbow wrist and fingers all need this rest. And so we have another day of integrating this more intensely focused regimen of self care.

I almost feel like the glass man from the movie Amelie. Padded away at home, taking one small brushstroke at a time, spending his life protected by cushion, feeling joy from visitors, slowly collecting paintings in his closet.


There are some things I'm learning, regarding how to make it feel ok to be living this type of experience. These things pertain to me specifically but perhaps something may spark inspiration in another, to help them get through a "less than ideal" situation where you have no choice but to surrender into full time self care.


The first thing that comes to mind is my environment.

When I wake up with very little strength and energy, if I see around me a lot of mess or clutter or chaos of any kind, it does not help me feel good at all.

There is a Scandinavian culture, I think, that after a certain age they start cleaning out and dealing with all of their "stuff" so that after they pass, its easier for others to handle.

I've started doing that for many reasons it makes a lot of sense to me.


I have found great relief in giving things or throwing things away that I previously clung to.

All the books, clothes that I don't wear, boxes of papers, knick knacks.

Even when both my computer and laptop crashed recently, corrupting hard drives, I felt a relief of losing years of information I had collected.

I don't want to feel tied down or restricted even more anymore.

Every little thing connected to me by an invisible string... cut the strings.


The new space is clear and the breeze can blow through more and keep us in this very moment now.

Let go of the blockages, the clogs, the bulk; release it.

You are a product of your environment. Surround yourself with more open space, honoring just a few things that you hold precious; and in turn feel more spacious, clear and honored within.


I have to manage quite a lot of energy around this injury and staying calm, I cannot handle taking on any more from the external.

I can't listen to the t.v or shows or popular culture radio or ads or commercials.

I need the peace outside so that I can more easily rest inside.

I don't even feel able to have gossipy conversations or talk about current events or politics.


We can be lovingly staring at trees and birds, talking about spirit and honor and the love that is all around.

This is what nourishes and it is just a small part of what makes it easier to be here.

I'm looking forward to sharing more soon.


Thank you for reading.

Sending lots of support.

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